I was really impressed with this article. It explains the possible long term effects of children that do not learn how to process their own emotions or handle their own problems. I struggle with the term “helicopter parent” as I struggle with any label- but the underlying theme is a good one. Kids need to learn to answer their own questions, lick their own wounds, and get out of bed each morning ready to face what lies ahead- prepared for both success and struggles.
Again, I do not want to get into a pro versus con discussion about video games themselves. There has been a ton written about that and there will be a ton more. We are talking about what you want to do for YOU and the people in YOUR house.
Playing time. Everyone approaches this different, but the most important thing is that you do approach the subject- not just ignore the issue.
Only you can choose what is right for your family. Underline that twice. That being said, handling the video game issue requires communication, conviction, and realistic thinking.
Not right now.
Not before dinner.
I don’t know.
I will think about it.
Ask me later.
What do all these answers have in common? None of them are “NO!” Increasingly, I see a great deal of children who do not like to hear the word NO. Well, no kidding- who does really?
The issue is that these kids not only do not like the word NO, but they have learned to ignore it, rage against it, or bargain people down until they take it back. This is not serving anyone- not the parent, not the family, and certainly not the child. Hearing NO and not losing your marbles is a good, functional skill. Fast forward a few years… It means when your date says NO, you listen. It means when you are in danger and someone says NO don’t do that- you don’t think it is negotiable. It means when the interviewer says you did not get the job- you don’t throw your chair through his window. Read the rest of this entry
Once upon a time there was a young boy from a small village who was very lonely and bored. It was his job to guard all the villagers’ sheep on the hilltop overlooking the village. The boy was very sad, lonely, and often scared.
One day, he could not take it anymore- He screamed the warning call, “ Wolf Wolf!” as loud as he could, down to the village below. The villagers ran to his aid- but were relieved when they found no wolf among there sheep. The boy did not know what made him do it, but the attention made him smile on the inside.
Anyway, after reading the introduction, I was intrigued.
After reading the first chapter I was hooked.
After reading 100 pages I started buying additional copies for my clients.
At half way through, I started composing this review.
“I don’t know what I am doing in therapy…” I have heard this time and time again, and truthfully- it drives me crazy!
Would you go to a mechanic and pay without know what was being done to your car?
Would you go to your primary care doctor with concerns and leave without knowing a treatment plan?
Then why, oh why, would you go to therapy and not know what you are doing there? I hear people all the time, “Oh, I have been in therapy for years, but I don’t know what the plan is.” Or, the ever popular, “I just go and we talk, I don’t know what we are doing or if it is helping.” I can completely understand why a person might think therapy is pointless if they are not getting the help they need, if there is no forward progress, and no means to measure success.
Therapy does not always have to be about long term, mental health issues. It can also be used to combat common occurrences in everyday life that may lead to larger issues later on.
I saw a great example of how therapeutic intervention could be used while at the gym. While swimming in the pool, I noticed a small swimming class of preschool age children. One little boy was sobbing the entire time. This stuck out to me because I noticed the same little boy, crying throughout his lesson, the week before. The instructor was patient, telling him he was four, he was a BIG boy, and to stop crying. The other kids in the class were laughing at him. That little boy was learning a lot of lessons, but unfortunately swimming was not one of them.
There are some things that cannot be explained. There are some things that are beyond what kids should ever have to understand, but never the less, they exist. Here are some ways to help discuss and manage the subject of random acts of violence and tragedy with your family and loved ones.
Life Coaches are becoming very popular and it is often difficult to know if you might want a therapist or a life coach. Here are some of the similarities and differences to help you decide for yourself.